Value and Acceptance

Bret never fails to update me his work matters on a daily basis. Many times a day, we would text each other updating about our work, colleagues, bosses and appointments. Having spouse encouragement and support brings incredible strength. That’s something I valued a lot about our relationship.

As a couple, we have tons of quantity and quality time. Our favourite activity is to relax at home and watch drama together. He is very contented with the routine and I am good with cozy time at home.

We have this amazing and strong bond that stablizes our relationship… there are just some areas which I need to work on my own. Whenever I talk about travelling and new restaurants, he is not as keen.

Yesterday I asked if he can take me to new places for dinner. His reply was “I don’t know where we can go”. I got turned off and said, “Its not don’t know, its can’t be bothered to know.” Instantly, he switched to defensive mode and asked if I am initiating a war. Well, it was minutes to bedtime and I said, “no…” to end the nightpotentialwar.

New routes or new environment makes him comfortable.  With him, I now live my everyday life in a calm and routined manner. There’s nothing wrong .. its just that the real me likes to explore and without expecting terrific experience. Its like, “At least, I’ve tried.”

Would be perfect if he could be the one whom I can share new experiences with…Towards my request, he might think I need him to accompany me. Neediness is the opposite of attraction.

In a marriage, I know for a fact that it is pretty impossible to live the carefree life we used to lead during single days. Bret was boyfriend whom I didn’t have to meet everyday in my life. I had so much fun doing crazy stuffs with best friend B at weird hours.

Now that I am married with a lovely daughter, time is shorter than ever. I had to juggle between work, leia and housework. Married days go on and on until I almost forget what used to make me happy when I was on my own.

The question and response I got from him yesterday woke me up. I need to work more on living life the way I love. Its not that I don’t dine with my friends but this time, I have full acceptance about his preferred lifestyle in our marriage. No more wondering if he will ever take me out for dinner so I shall continue to dine with friends or my parents who are as eager to explore novelty. 

We only live once, gotta make the best of it.

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